Strength
by U2SVUfan
Summary: Takes place after "Zebras." It includes things like Elliot's reaction to Olivia being hurt, the truth about his marriage, and of course...E/O! Nothing is immediate - it all builds up. It involves Olivia's next few cases, and how they affect her.
1. Chapter 1

This is my first fanfiction, so please bear with me and be kind. I'd love to read some reviews.

Disclaimer: I, sadly, do not own the characters.

* * *

Wednesday, May 3. It was around midnight. John and Fin had already left. Olivia sat at her desk, staring at the crime scene photos and attempting to find something that will lead her to the killer. It took all her concentration and what remained of her strength to focus. Five women dead. One a day for the past five days. Raped and killed five different ways, except that each involved immense pain. No forensics. No connection between the victims. Every murder weapon left at the scene, but no leads on those either. The only reason they knew it was the same perp was because he had left the same flower, a white rose, at each crime scene, and even that had gotten them no where. Today's victim was killed in a basement. Unfortunately, it looked remarkably like the darkened basement of Sealview.

It didn't help that it had only been a week since the events involving Dale Stuckey. It was hard to believe Ryan O'Halloran had died, and Olivia was finding it difficult to deal with. Stuckey was on trial for three murders and two attempted murders. She was not too worried…there was plenty of evidence against him. Both her and Elliot and taken their turn on the stand. She went to support him – they didn't speak, but she had been there. Elliot was no where to be seen when it had been her time to testify. And he wasn't back at work yet because Kathy had insisted he stay at home and rest until his chest wounds had completely healed.

Olivia smiled to herself. Not that it mattered much…even when Elliot was here he barely paid attention to her. She had no idea where it came from, this coldness. For almost two years, since he got back together with Kathy, it seemed like he didn't care about her. She had sacrificed her dignity for his life, willingly, and he had not even thanked her for it, or spoken to her since. She was glad she'd done it – she would have done anything to save her partner's life. However, she felt incredibly dirty, and showered for hours trying to scrub off the feeling of Stuckey and the guilt for hitting Elliot. It was necessary, but it wasn't necessary for part of her to feel he deserved it.

With another glance at the terrible photo, her mind involuntarily flashed back to the hours after Sealview:

_She sat at her desk staring at a photo of Lowell Harris, the man who had made her one of the people she had dedicated her life to protect. Elliot came up behind her. "You okay?"_

"_Yeah." _Lie_. " What are you still doing here?"_

_Elliot sighed. "Avoiding diaper duty." She wished it would lighten the mood, but thinking of Elliot and his perfect life at home made things worse. "Need a lift?"_

"_No thanks, I'm…going to stay awhile."_

"_You'll get Harris," said Elliot in his futile attempt to reassure her. _

"_For excessive force at best. More likely he'll get transferred and promoted."_

"_Is he already back at work?"_

"_Yeah." _

_Elliot paused. Olivia knew what was coming, and dreaded it with all her being. "What happened in the basement?"_

_She just couldn't tell him. Not only was she ashamed, but she did not want to have to deal with his reaction. Plus, they did not talk anymore anyway, so what did it matter?_

"_Nothing…" _Lie_. "I'm fine, El." _Lie_. She knew he didn't believe her. But she also knew he would not ask her again._

Olivia sighed. Their partnership was certainly not what it used to be. Oh, they still worked well together, but for someone who is supposed to be her best friend, Elliot sure does not act like it. With this rift between them, she had started to wonder whether Elliot asked what happened at Sealview out of concern for her well-being, or just simple curiosity. Since then, she had saved his ass at least twice. Both times, she had been humiliated – stripping in front of him and two perps, and kissing someone who had killed three people. She tried to convince herself it was worth it, but she was losing faith in herself and her partnership.

_Focus on the case._

She began pouring over the images again, not allowing herself to think about her own experience in a basement, or her problems with Elliot. She looked at the flowers. The lab had done everything they could – there was no way to trace them, no chemical or fertilizer that they could identify. What was more puzzling was whether the white roses meant remorse, or they were just mocking.

To make matters worse, the entire story had somehow leaked to the press. Today's cover story was about the incompetent NYPD's investigation of "the Flower Killer." Catchy, right? The investigation was being lead by Det. Olivia Benson, and you'd think with her 11+ years of experience, she would be doing a better job.

"Olivia?" It was Cragen.

"Yes, Captain?" She could see the concern on his face.

"There is nothing more you can do tonight. Go home, get some sleep."

"I can't."

"Yes you can. This isn't a request, Detective." Don had always tried his best to be professional, but he couldn't hide the fact that he truly cared about his detectives.

Olivia nodded. She was almost thankful, and did not have the energy to be angry anyway. Gathering her things, she put on her coat and headed out the door.

"Olivia?" She turned. "You look tired. Call me when you get home."

She smiled. "I will. Thank you, Captain. Good night."

Just has she stepped out the door of the precinct, her cell phone went off. She waited a few seconds: _Elliot Stabler_ appeared on the display. Great, she thought. Just what I need.

"Hello?" she answered.

"Hi, Liv. How are you?"

"Fine." _Lie_. "Just heading home for the night. Anything wrong?"

"No, I just wanted to check in…we haven't spoken in a week."

"I know."

Damn. He could tell, even though she tried to hide it, that she was bothered. "Look, I'm sorry about that. You know, Kathy, she's been fussing over me all week, I've barely had time to take a breath." He kicked himself for not being there when she took the stand. She could have used the support.

"Right…well, look I'm about to drive away, anything else?"

"Ah…" Should he say what he has been meaning to say? He had been avoiding it. The truth is, although he knew her actions last week had been necessary – the hitting…the kissing – he was thankful, but had also been hurt by it. Admitting that would just make her hurt even more, but so would ignoring the issue.

"El?"

"You sound tired."

She sighed. "Well, it's been a long week. The trial, a difficult case…" _You._

He paused. He didn't want to fight and risk hurting her, but he thought it would be better than not talking at all.

"You should be careful. When people get tired, they make more mistakes."

"Elliot, don't start with me."

He heard the warning in her voice. He had heard it before.

"You should rest more, especially because I'm not around to clean up your mess."

_Unbelievable._ She knew what he wanted. A big blow up, something to talk about. She hated how he always did that. Did he know how much it hurt every time? And especially now.

Choking back tears, she said as normally as she could, "Goodnight, El," and hung up the phone. She climbed into her car and turned the ignition. She was so tired. Too much work, too little sleep, too much crap on her mind.

* * *

Olivia unlocked and then entered her apartment building. Picking up her mail, she headed upstairs and into her dark, and always lonely, apartment. She poured herself a glass of wine…maybe it will help her sleep, but she doubted it. She sat on her couch, and decided to attack her pile of mail, forgetting to call the captain. Bills, bills, more bills…wait. A white envelope with no mailing address on it was addressed to Det. Olivia Benson. But it wasn't written or typed; it appeared to be cut from the newspaper and glued. Shit. Trembling, she opened it and pulled out a single piece of black cardstock. A pressed white rose was taped to it, and with letters cut from the newspaper it read: _They were all for you, Detective. _

Olivia's mind screamed. This guy knew her name, knew her address. Suddenly, she felt incredibly vulnerable. She was shaking. She tried to focus. Call someone. She couldn't find her cell. Going to her landline, she picked up the phone and dropped it. Picking it up firmly with both hands, she pressed TALK. No dial tone. What is going on? Her tired mind couldn't focus. She sat on the floor and put her head her hands. Then she heard a creak from the next room. Someone was in her apartment.


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry this one is a little short. There lots more to come though, so don't worry!

Disclaimer: I, sadly, do not own the characters.

* * *

Despite Olivia's usual ability to remain calm in stressful situations, she found herself beginning to panic. She tried to tell herself that the mysterious creak did not necessarily mean there was someone here. This was an old apartment building – groans and creaks were not rare. Breathe. She didn't hear anything. The door to the hall was too far away. Decision time.

Olivia silently got up, grabbed her gun, and walked the few feet to the bathroom as fast as possible. Her head was spinning, and the questions starting coming. Who was this guy? Why were so many of the psychopaths drawn to her? How was she going to get help if there was really someone here? Locking the door she turned and faced herself in the mirror. As far as she was aware, her face didn't scream _I am a child of rape_. Damn…she looked so haggard and worn...old even. She splashed some water on her face, prepared herself, and slowly opened the door, gun first.

Living room, clear. Kitchen, clear. Bedroom, clear. Without letting down her guard, she checked the phone again. Still out. Damn. What the hell? She was too tired to deal with this! She was probably just overreacting due to stress. But, she began searching for her cell on the mess of her living room table anyway. "Son of bitch, where are you?" she whispered to herself, and felt something on the back of her head.

"Right behind you. For someone as smart as you, I'm surprised you forgot to check your bedroom closet."

Olivia froze. The voice was deep, and frighteningly calm. She fought the panic as he reached in front of her and took her gun. Instinctively, her hands rose. "Who are you?"

"You know better than that, although soon it won't matter. Sit on the couch…now."

He wasn't hiding his face. She gathered her strength and looked up at him. Something about him looked very familiar, but she couldn't place it.

"Don't move." His eyes never leaving hers, he backed into the kitchen and pulled a chair towards her. He placed it beside the table with her phone on it. "Sit in the chair." She did. He pulled a roll of duck tape from the pocket on his large coat and tied her hands and feet to the chair.

Without warning, he slapped her across the face. She tried to hide her shock and terror, but he smirked. "This is going to be fun!" He hit her again. She couldn't help it. Her eyes threatened to overflow, but she refused to beg. Suddenly, he left the room and went back into her bedroom. She let the wave of nausea wash over her. Was she going to die? With an ounce of humour, she realized Elliot was in this same position only a week ago. Ironic. The difference was she didn't have her partner here to distract her attacker by making out with him. How could this happen again? It wasn't related was it? Her head was pounding – now she knew how Elliot had felt.

Where did the bastard go? She looked around, gathering her bearings. The phone was still off the hook. Just as she thought about it, the dial tone came back on. On speakerphone, it began to ring. What the hell was happening? Was her assaulter calling someone on purpose?

"Hello?"

Her heart sank. Oh God, no. This cannot be happening.

"Hello?"

She composed herself as best she could. Shakily, she whispered, "Hi, El."

"Liv, are you okay? You sound…off?"

"I'm fine, really. Sorry for waking you."

"Why did you call?"

"Ummm…just checking in."

"At 1:00am? After we had a fight and you hung up the phone?"

She could imagine the look on his face. "Yup. Well, got to go, bye."

Pause. "You didn't hang up."

_That's because I'm tied up_. "Yeah…" Her mind wasn't working – usually she was great at coming up with things on the spot. However, pretending to be a prostitute or making out with Stuckey would not help this situation. She closed her eyes, and fought it with all her strength. Olivia managed to keep back the tears, but she let a dry sob escape.

"Liv? Are you okay? I'm coming over there."

"No, Elliot, don't, I'm fine!" It sounded almost like what she had when they were chasing Gitano and the bastard had cut her. Except this time, she _really_ needed Elliot to stay away. "I need you to trust me. Whatever you may hear, promise me you won't come over here."

"What the hell, Liv?"

"Promise me!"

"Ahem…I wouldn't do that if I were you, Detective Stabler."

Elliot paled at the sound of the stranger's voice. "Liv, who is that?"

"It's no one, hang up the phone."

"Detective Stabler, if you stay away as your partner has asked you, she will suffer and then die. If you come here, she will die. But…at least if you come there's the faint possibility you can save her."

Elliot heard something that sounded like a punch and a stifled cry…then the line went dead. Without a second thought, he mumbled an excuse to a groggy Kathy, put on some clothes, and rushed out the door to his car.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I, sadly, do not own any of the characters.

* * *

There was a knock on the door. Olivia's stomach jumped into her throat when she saw a disarmed Elliot enter her living room. She knew he would come, but she had hoped with all of her being that something would have stopped him. She could have dealt with the physical pain, but her partner being at risk…again…was too much. They locked eyes for a second, and then she couldn't bear to face him. Turning away, the tears that she had been trying so hard to fight started to fall down her cheeks. Their earlier fight didn't matter any more. She had to keep him from harm, keep him alive, even if it meant putting herself at further risk. She _needed_ him to stay alive, for his wife, his kids, himself. _For me_.

Elliot turned the corner and spotted Olivia. His surroundings seem to blur – all he could see was her eyes - terrified and so sad. He could feel the rage boiling up at this man who had caused her pain, but for the first time the anger was overcome by fear and heartbreak. He may not have understood the extent of what Olivia had been through, but he knew this was too much.

"Liv…"

He took a step toward her and stopped, finally taking in the whole scene before him. His partner was tied by both her arms and legs to a chair on the opposite side of the room. Her hair was falling onto her face, sticking to the mixture of tears and blood from a split lip. Her shirt was torn, exposing part of her bra. With horror Elliot noticed the blood soaking through in a shockingly similar pattern to his own torso wounds that Stuckey had given him a week ago. He knew how much it had hurt. He should have driven faster!

Breaking the silence that had seemed to last forever, the unknown assailant chortled, standing in the center of the room. "I must say that this is wildly entertaining. You should see your own faces," he said with a mocking smile, glancing from one to the other.

Elliot glared at him and wished more than anything that he could throttle this terrible man. However, he didn't move, noticing the gun pointed at his heart. Sneaking a quick glance back at Olivia's face, he saw nothing but total emotional defeat. He hoped that she had some strength left to get through this.

Getting serious, the man spoke again: "Alright, here's how this is going to work. If you move, Detective Stabler, I will shoot your partner, and then you. If you say something I don't like, I will shoot her. If you don't follow my instructions, I will shoot her. When I am done having my fun, I will shoot both of you. Either way, you both end up dead, so why don't you just humour me?" And slowly, he swung his arm around, and pointed the gun at Olivia.

She barely acknowledged that she had heard him. Elliot however, managed to gain control of himself.

"Who are you?"

"Well…I suppose since you are going to die soon, there's no reason to hide it. I am the man that your partner has been looking for all week."

Olivia knew this already. The pictures of the five dead women flashed in her mind. The anger and compassion that made her such a good cop gave her a burst of strength, and she was able to lift her head. "You killed those women. You left a white rose at every scene. You said you did it all for me. So before I do anything to humour you, you will tell me your name and explain yourself."

The man thought for a moment, and then grinned. "You are not in the position to be making demands, but I find your spirit incredibly fascinating, so I will comply. I doubt I'll need to do much explaining once I tell you my name though…so, here goes. My name is Roger…Roger Stuckey."

Olivia involuntarily let a tiny gasp escape, and Elliot quivered.

"You humiliated my brother and ruined his life, Detective Benson, and you will pay. I am his attorney, so our visits did not appear on the prison records. He told me everything that happened in that god-forsaken lab, and I recreated it…with a few changes of course. Those five women…just random, I don't know who they were. But Dale and I knew their deaths would torture you. The roses were my personal touch and for you and me alone." He paused. "I will not deny that this entire thing is for…revenge." He said the word as if it was the most delicious thing he had ever tasted. "I will have you know now that I am not stupid. My brother was somewhat of a fool, falling for your act. It will not work on me, so don't bother trying anything." He glanced at the clock. _2:00am_. "Now, let's get started shall we? First, we'll play 20 questions."

Roger noticed the disbelief on his victims' faces and smiled with glee. "It's probably not the game you're familiar with. You first, Olivia. How far would you be willing to go to save your partner?"

Without hesitation, she looked defiantly at Roger and replied, "I would go as far as it took." Her answer did not shock anyone in the room, but it gave Elliot's heart a little more strength.

* * *

Don was very worried. It had been two hours since Olivia had left, and he still hadn't got a call from her. He was the last one at the precinct, so there was little there to distract him. Maybe she had gotten stuck in traffic. _Right, at 2am. Some detective you are_. She probably had just forgotten. Still, it didn't take him long to decide it was time to call her. He listened to her phone ring over and over, and then her taped message on the answering machine. He tried her cell…still no answer.

After another fifteen minutes he tried again, and then decided to call Elliot.

"Hello?" said a very tired voice.

"Hi Kathy, it's Captain Cragen. I'm so sorry to wake you…may I please speak to Elliot?"

"He's not here – he said you called him into work."

"Oh…right. God, I'm so sorry Kathy, he uh….just went upstairs and I completely forgot. It's just so early in the morning…"

"Right…sure. Goodnight." _Click._

_What the hell was going on?_ He picked up the phone again, and dialled a long-since memorized number.

"Hi John, it's Don."

"Oh, hello Captain. How nice it is to hear from you at this ungodly hour."

"Not now with the jokes, please. I apologise for waking you, but Elliot and Olivia are MIA."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I can't find either of them. Elliot left home saying I called him into work, which I certainly did not, and Olivia is not answering her home or cell phone."

"Do you want me and Fin to come down to the precinct?"

"Ah, no. Why don't you both meet me at Olivia's apartment building?"

"Don't you think that's pushing it a bit? I mean, it could be nothing. She probably just got too busy drinking herbal tea and watching romantic movies, and forgot to call...and Elliot probably just needed an excuse to get out of his house or something."

"You are probably right. And call me paranoid, but you know very well Olivia has been under a lot of stress lately, I just want to make sure everything is okay."

"Okay, see you in a few." _Click_.

* * *

Olivia sighed. All these questions were designed to torture her, and it was working. They kept getting worse and worse. He was making her think about all the sore spots in her life, all the things that caused her pain. He had already asked her about her parents, about her wanting to have children. Where was he getting all this information? There wasn't much more she could take of this.

With the force of a punch, he asked her the next question: "Olivia, how's your brother?"

Exasperated, she replied, "I haven't spoken with him in months. Ask him."

"Ah…so…you're still alone, just like you've been your whole life. How sad." But he said it mockingly, with a grin, and it made it so much worse.

Elliot couldn't bear the pain she was in – he could see it in her face. Every answer was pummelling her into the ground and soon she would be completely buried.

"Two more left. Elliot, are you currently in love with your wife?"

Olivia sighed. Just another question whose answer, either way, will cause her pain…although she didn't quite know why.

Elliot looked at Olivia, and then at Roger. "No."

"Ha ha! Well, then." He looked at Olivia with a huge, suggestive smile on his face, and she hated him for it. "And for the finale: Olivia, are you in love with your partner?"

_Anything but this_. She closed her eyes and tried to concentrate on breathing. She didn't answer, she couldn't.

"I suggest you answer, or you'll watch him die."

Again, her tears escaped. She shook her head, trying to clear it of the nightmare. Everything hurt. Roger took a few steps toward Olivia. He put his hand under her chin and lifted her face. Using the gun, he slowly pushed the hair out of her eyes. She shuddered. "Please don't…" she whispered.

Elliot had never seen her beg, and he lost it. He hated this man more than he had ever hated anyone. He was shaking, and words just starting slowly flowing from his mouth. They were so filled with anger that his voice filled the room without having to shout: "Okay, that's enough. Stuckey, I don't care what I have to do, but stop torturing her, you sick son of a bitch. What do you want from me? Do you want me to kiss you, like what happened to you precious brother? Because if that's what it takes, I'll do it… "

He continued to speak, but to Olivia, the words turned into a blurred hum. Whatever Elliot was saying, Roger was staring directly at her, his expression unreadable. And Elliot was inching closer and closer to Roger's back. She forced herself to pay attention, but her head was throbbing.

"…and she has been through hell and back. Somehow, you sick asshole, you know that, and I promise you I will find out how. And…it's not her fault your brother is a complete idiot."

And Elliot grabbed Roger's gun. Their connected arms swung wildly as the gun went off three times, both men struggling for the upper hand. Elliot managed to throw the gun aside. But with both arms free, Roger spun them both so Elliot's back faced Olivia, and started punching Elliot's knife wounds from last week's events. Elliot could feel his lightly healed cuts tearing and realized he was weakening. Suddenly, another shot went off, and Roger went limp. As his body fell, Elliot spotted the captain, gun outstretched, with Fin and Munch behind him, standing just inside the doorway. _Thank God_…

But then he noticed their faces. The captain had a severe mixture of anger, shock and pain on his face, and he wasn't looking at Elliot or Roger, but past them.

Elliot turned, and the world fell away around him.

Olivia was slumped over in her chair, blood soaking rapidly through her torn shirt from a gun shot wound in her right side. He rushed to her, fell to his knees and shouted, "Knife!" After a few seconds that seemed like days, someone thrust a small steak knife into Elliot's hand and he sliced the duck tape that restrained his partner. She slid into his arms and he carefully laid her on the floor, her head in his lap. Her eyes were fluttering. Tearing off his shirt, he shouted again, and someone knelt down beside him and used Elliot's shirt to slow the blood. He grabbed her hand, squeezed it, and held it close to his heart. With relief, he noticed that she was able to squeeze back. With his other hand, he stroked her head, much like she had done for him months earlier when their positions had been reversed.

"Liv, stay with me. You have to stay with me."

"Elliot…"

"Don't try to talk. Don't give in. Just…hold on. Help will be here soon."

Through tears, he could see and feel her slipping away. Slowly, she released his hand and her eyes closed. And everything went black.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters used in the writing of this story. It is for entertainment purposes only, and no profit is being made.

* * *

Elliot slowly awoke. He tried to gain his bearings, but he was so groggy. Regaining complete vision, he realized he was in a hospital bed. Glancing down, he saw fresh bandages over his chest. The night's events came flooding back to him. _Olivia. _He tried to sit up and get out of bed, but his limbs were heavy.

"Stay where you are." It was the captain.

"Where's Olivia?" he growled.

"Calm down, Detective. She's still in surgery."

"What the hell happened, why am I here?"

Sigh. "Olivia was shot, you tried to keep her conscious. EMS showed up just as she faded. You got this weird look on your face, and beat the hell out of a dead guy."

"What?"

"You were angry I guess, and it took three of us to pull you off of the perp, who was already shot dead on the floor, and then they sedated you." He had an incredibly weary look on his face. "I believe we call it extreme emotional disturbance," he added with a hint of amusement.

Elliot shook his head, trying to piece everything together, but the last thing he recalled was Olivia's slackening grip on his hand.

"I need to see her."

"You can't, she's in surgery. Why don't you tell me what the hell happened before John, Fin and I showed up?"

Elliot gave him the minimum – Roger's identity, his reasons for assaulting them, and his responsibility for the murders that occurred this past week. "I don't know how he managed to get in Olivia's apartment, or how he knew so much about us. But he said his brother helped him, so maybe someone should talk to Stuckey." Just then, there was a knock on the door. A doctor poked her head in: "Captain Cragen? Detective Benson is out of surgery."

"How is she?"

"Touch and go, but she's a fighter and her chances are good. We almost lost her a few times on the table, but she's stable now."

Elliot sighed with relief. He couldn't bear the thought of losing her, and he couldn't believe that he had actually gone temporarily insane because of it. With a pang, he realized that struggling with Roger had caused her to nearly die.

"Anything else you can tell us?"

"Well, the bullet didn't hit any major organs or arteries, but it came very close, which is why it was so difficult to distract the slug. The cuts on her chest and abdomen posed some possible problems for infection, but everything should be okay and we're hopeful that she'll pull through."

"Okay, thank you, doctor. Elliot, I suggest you get some rest."

"No way. Take me to her room."

* * *

Olivia watched, helpless again, as she watched Roger Stuckey ask herself question after question. He got to last one: "Olivia, are you in love with your partner?" This time though, things had changed. Elliot didn't explode, and was not advancing on Roger. She couldn't answer the question and was forced to watch as Roger shot Elliot. He bled out on the floor, and she couldn't get to him. And then Roger pointed the gun at her…

"Elliot!" She bolted upright, caused pain to shoot up her side and torso, and her head to pound ferociously.

"I'm here," he said wearily. "Don't move, it will just make it worse."

She looked to her left, and he was sitting in the chair next to her hospital bed, looking more worn out than she had ever seen him. He was shirtless, and with sadness she noticed the fresh bandages on his chest that looked very similar to her own.

"Bad dream?"

"The worst…" She paused. "I'm so sorry," she whispered. "I - "

Elliot cut her off. "Don't. None of this is your fault." He was so tired but refused to sleep. "I'm so sorry – I got you shot. And if I had driven faster, maybe you wouldn't be as hurt. And I'm sorry about earlier…it was uncalled for, I didn't mean it."

"Please don't apologise. I wouldn't be here right now if it wasn't for you." Olivia quickly surveyed her body. "Now I understand how much gun shot wounds hurt…"

Elliot smiled slightly and then looked at his partner. "Look…I have been scared before.…but never have I been as terrified as I was last night…when I thought you were gone."

Olivia thought for a moment. "The last thing I remember is your face. What happened?"

"You know…I'm not really sure. I'll explain later." Long pause. "Liv, is there anyone you want me to call? Maybe Simon?"

She smiled weakly. "I wasn't lying to Roger. I haven't talked to Simon for months. And you know better than anyone that there is no one else. I'm alone." She looked at the ceiling and sunk into her pillow. She hated the feeling of having no family, especially at times like this.

Elliot shifted slightly in his seat. "Liv…do I really have to tell you that you're not alone?"

Looking back at him, they locked eyes. Tearfully, she replied, "Thank you." Those two words are used so lightly sometimes, but in this case, they encompassed so many things and were more heartfelt than anything she had ever said.

Elliot's gaze shifted, and he gave that her that intense, questioning look he often used before asking a serious question. "Why couldn't you answer Roger's last question?"

She knew this would come up sooner or later, and she might as well explain while slightly delirious from the pain. "El…I don't know. I just…maybe it's because I don't know the answer."

Elliot thought for a few moments. "I don't know what to say…"

They sat in silence for a few minutes, each to their own thoughts. For some reason, it wasn't as awkward as it should have been.

"Shouldn't you be getting home to Kathy?"

Elliot winced. "Kathy can wait. She's used to it by now."

"El, you should really go. I'll be fine."

He paused. Gently, he reached out his hand, and slowly brushed her hair back. "I know you'll be fine," he whispered, "but right now, I would rather be here…" He didn't add _with you._

Olivia grabbed Elliot's hand and pulled it down, away from her face, but did not let it go. It was one of the hardest things she'd ever done. His strong hand had felt wonderfully bittersweet, but she was not cruel. "I - …Kathy…"

The two of them stayed silent for a long time, never loosening the grip on each other's hands.

And then Olivia burst: "El, we need to talk about everything that has happened. We can't go back to doing the silent thing. I couldn't take it."

She sounded almost hysterical, but at the sound of her partner's voice, she quickly calmed down. "Take it easy, Liv. We can talk now, unless you're too tired - "

She cut him off. "No, I need to do this now."

"Alright. I'll talk first, okay? Ahh…I wanted to thank you for saving my life last week, for what you did in the lab. It must have been hard for you…I know I should have thanked you much earlier, and I have no excuse. " It felt so weird to be talking like this, because they hadn't in such a long time, but it felt good all the same.

Without missing a beat, Olivia replied: "You're very welcome. But, I'm sorry for hitting you. I know it was necessary - "

"Don't apologise. I deserved every slap." He paused. "I've been such a jerk. I've been distant, unsupportive…"

"You know that? Then why did you do it? I don't understand…" God, her head hurt.

Sigh. "I was too caught up with my own problems to see you were hurting…"

Suddenly, there was a quick knock on the door, and Kathy and the Captain rushed in. Elliot and Olivia's hands flew apart as if they had been electrocuted. Thankfully, it went unnoticed.

"Elliot! The captain called and said you were in the hospital. Is everything all right? What happened?" She realized that Olivia was lying in the hospital bed, with Elliot sitting beside her. Her eyes widened in shock. "Olivia! Oh my God, what happened to you? I barely recognized you."

"Calm down, Kathy. We got ourselves a little messed up by a perp."

"Well, you've been here for hours, I think it's time you come home and rest."

Elliot glanced at Olivia. "No, I think I'm going to stay here."

Kathy glared at him. "Can I please talk to you outside?"

Elliot looked apologetically at Olivia, and walked out in front of Kathy, who slammed the door.

Olivia pulled her eyes away from the door that has just swallowed Elliot's back and focused on Don. "Captain…I'm so sorry I forgot to call."

"Oh, nonsense. If you had remembered to call, I would have thought everything was fine, and would never have come to your apartment. And you might not have made it." He paused. He could faintly hear yelling from the hall, which suspiciously sounded like Elliot. "Soon you're going to have to tell me all the details about what happened, but for right now, I just want you to rest. You're pretty banged up."

Olivia smiled weakly. "Yeah, I guess I am. Thanks, Captain."

Don looked at her, and the sight broke his heart. The bandages covered almost her entire torso and her face had bruises on it, which she wasn't yet aware of. Tubes and wires seemed to protrude from everywhere on her body, and she was still on oxygen. "Well…I'm going to go. I think John and Fin will be in to say hi soon."

He turned to leave, and she noticed that his eyes were moist. "Captain, is everything alright?" she asked, alarmed. She had seen her captain angry and upset, but she couldn't remember ever seeing him cry.

He wiped his eyes on his sleeve, surprised at his emotion. "Yes, Detective, everything is fine. Just…please try not to do this again. You gave us quite a scare."

She smiled at him. "Yes, I'll try."

* * *

Elliot winced as Kathy slammed the door to Olivia's hospital room. He really did not want to deal with this right now, and hoped she wouldn't push him too hard.

"Elliot, I'm so tired of you putting your work before your family. Why do you think I left you 4 years ago? And I'm not stupid, you know. The Captain called around 2am, wondering where you were, and then suddenly remembered you were at the precinct. What the hell happened?"

He sighed. "Kathy, this isn't about work right now. This is about my partner being injured. And I can't discuss what happened with you, because it has to do with a case."

"Oh sure, your classic excuse for not talking about things. And yeah, Olivia's hurt bad. But you visited her, and now it's time to come home."

"For God's sake, Kathy, how selfish can you be?" He starting to shout, even though he hated public spectacles like this. "Olivia saved your life and Eli's life, and she's saved mine a number of times! Now she's really hurt, and she has no one else. So I'm going to stay here with her as long as I deem necessary, especially because I'm responsible for her being shot in the first place!!" He sat down in one of the chairs in the hallway, and put his head in his hands, trying hard not to break down. Munch and Fin stood about 15 feet down the hallway, pretending not to notice and exchanging awkward glances.

Kathy was angry and jealous, but she also felt bad that Elliot was so upset. Putting her hand on his shoulder, she replied, "It can't have been your fault, stop blaming yourself. And I know Olivia saved my life and I will always be thankful. But that doesn't mean she has to come before your family."

He looked up into her face, livid. "Kathy, are you still in love with me?"

She didn't answer, shocked.

"That's what I thought. I am Olivia's best friend. She needs me here, and here is where I am going to stay, end of discussion. I'll see you later." And without a second glance, he got up and walked toward Olivia's room just as Don was exiting.

"Elliot. Everything alright?"

"Yeah, fine. It's just been…a really long week."

"No kidding. Both you and Olivia are going to be taking some vacation time. You need a break."

"I'm not going to say no to that."

"I wouldn't have let you anyway. I'm going to go back to the precinct to close this case down. And then I'm going to sleep, which I don't think I've done for at least two days."

"Alright, see you, Cap."

He walked back into Olivia's room. "Hey, sorry about that…wait, are you okay? You're crying."

"Am I? I think some of my pain meds are wearing off…either that or they're starting to work and these are tears of relief…but I doubt it. I hate to complain, but…it just hurts so much."

"Oh, don't be ridiculous. I'm going to go get a nurse for you, then I need a little air. Do you want some tea or something?"

"Can I have tea?"

"I have no idea, I'll ask a nurse. But…how much can it hurt to throw a flower or a leaf in some hot water?" He winked at her.

"Oh, very funny. Just some plain water would be fine, thanks. And El, don't take too long, okay?"

He smiled. "I'll be right back. I think John and Fin want to visit you anyway. You won't even notice I'm gone."

A few moments later, John and Fin entered her room.

"Damn, Liv. That looks like it hurts."

"Ah, well, yeah. Umm…thank you guys for whatever role you played in getting me out of my apartment. I'm not exactly sure what happened, but I know you were there, so thank you."

"Nah, don't mention it. Munch ran for a knife when Elliot yelled – I had never seen him run so fast. If it wasn't so serious, it would have been hilarious."

"Oh yeah, says the one who practically fell over himself when Elliot threw his shirt at him. Fin jumped to your side pretty fast too."

Olivia laughed and it hurt. "Thank you both."

"Alright, well we're going to head out. Listen, Olivia – consider me your humble servant. Don't hesitate to ask if you need anything, I mean it," Munch said as he peered at her over his glasses.

"Same here, Liv. You know where we'll be."

"Thanks guys." They smiled, waved, and left.

* * *

Half an hour later, Elliot returned with a cup of water, looking slightly refreshed but still haggard. "Did the nurse come in? Oh, you've moved."

Olivia was favouring the far side of the bed, resting slightly on her left side, facing him, and her oxygen was gone. "Yeah, I was getting uncomfortable. It took a few of them to help move me. Thanks for the water."

"No problem."

"Are you going to head home?"

"No…I'll get a cot in here and stay with you while you rest. It's about a quarter after 8am now, and you haven't gotten a proper nights sleep since..."

Olivia finished it for him. "…what feels like forever." She paused. She knew that by asking him this she was trapping herself, but right now, she wanted to be trapped. "El…could you just sleep on this bed?"

"You mean…with you, on that tiny hospital bed?"

"Yeah…I know it sounds crazy…I just really want to have someone near me." She was in desperate need of some sort of human contact that wasn't violent or aggressive, and she would prefer it be from Elliot.

He smiled to himself. Olivia on pain meds was quite entertaining. He would never let her live this down, but for now, he'd indulge her. "Of course." So that was why she had asked the nurses to move her over.

Elliot poked his head out the door and called a nearby nurse. "Umm…Detective Benson is going to sleep now. Can you please let anyone who approaches know that she's not taking any visitors? Thank you." He turned off the light, and carefully lowered himself onto the small bed beside his partner.

"Let me know if I hurt you."

"You won't."

He was still shirtless, and she could feel his warm skin on the places that weren't covered in bandages. She pressed herself into him as much as possible without being too obvious. Her brain felt fuzzy.

Their heads shared the single pillow. Comfort spread from every point of contact between their bodies, and she felt safer than she had for a very long time. They were both exhausted, and it didn't take long for them to fall into a deep sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

I'm so sorry this chapter has taken so long. It can be really frustrating when you read a story and then wait for weeks, even months for the next chapter; and then by the time it's posted you've forgotten what has happened. I hope this isn't the case for this story. I've started school again, and was also away for a week so I've been busy catching up. I'll do my best to make sure the next chapter is up as soon as possible. Thanks for reading, and I hope you like it! Please review.

* * *

Elliot woke up, and looked up at the clock on the wall. _5pm_. _What day is it?_ June 4th. He carefully untangled himself from Olivia and she remained asleep. Looking down at her, he couldn't help but notice how peaceful she looked, despite the bruises. He didn't have a clean shirt, so he just grabbed his keys and walked out of her room, and then the hospital. Driving toward home, his mind was restless. He had slept for over eight hours, and it was the most rewarding and peaceful sleep he had experienced in years. His insides squirmed as he wondered if that had nothing to do with the small, uncomfortable bed, but was because he had slept beside Olivia. And then Kathy popped into his head. His Catholic guilt ate away at him as he argued with himself. It wasn't cheating just to sleep on the same bed as another woman, was it? Nothing happened, they just fell asleep…

Olivia woke up. Her eyes fluttered open to reveal Elliot, in the chair he was in last night, and he was staring at her. She looked past him, and noticed the clock said 8pm. She felt incredibly awkward, but hid it.

"Where did you go?"

"How did you know I left?"

"I'm a detective." She smiled at him. "I woke up about an hour ago. I can't believe I slept for 11 hours. Anyway, you were gone. A nurse came in, made sure everything was fine. She helped me get to the bathroom and then I went back to sleep."

"Well, I went home and to your apartment to bring you some things. It's still a crime scene and there were people swarming all over the place, but handy enough, I have a badge. I brought you some clothes and some toiletries."

"Thank you, I appreciate that." As if her memory came flooding back in that instant, her face reddened. "I am so sorry about last night. I don't know what came over me. This is so embarrassing…" She tried to convince herself that it was purely the medication that made her ask Elliot to sleep beside her. Part of her however, had wanted to be that close to him.

Elliot suppressed a laugh. "Don't worry about it. You on pain medication was very funny. I will not tell anyone…but between you and me, I will never let you live this down."

She grumbled something inaudible at him, and he chuckled. Then she stopped at looked at him. "Thank you…for doing that for me, medicated or not."

"It was my pleasure." And he meant it. "I talked to the Captain. He said I'm to take three weeks off, and you're to take four."

Her eyes widened in shock. "A whole month?"

"Almost. And I wouldn't bother arguing." She knew he was right.

"So…how's Kathy? Have you talked to her since this morning?"

He looked down at his knees. "Well, I assume she's okay. When I got to my house, she and the kids were gone. She left a note saying they went to her mom's. And told me not to rush, but asked me to move out as soon as possible."

Olivia's eyes widened in shock. "Oh El, I'm so sorry. This is all my fault."

"How is it your fault? This doesn't have anything to do with you. Kathy and I are not in love anymore. We got back together because of Eli, and in our hearts we wanted things to work out. But they didn't…again. And I have to live with that. I'm hoping we can work out custody of Eli without the courts. The others are old enough to choose for themselves. I love my family, and I hate to see it ripped apart again, but I think this is for the best. We've been having problems for a long time now."

He sighed…this was hard for him to admit. It didn't even seem real to him yet. But right now, it was Olivia that needed him. He wanted to stop being the unsupportive, almost non-existent, friend he'd been the last two years or so.

"I'm really sorry, El."

"Don't be. Things will work out."

If anything good was to come out of these last two weeks, it was that he and his partner would be close again.

* * *

Four days later, Olivia was being discharged from the hospital. The Captain had come and taken both their statements. As a group, they had agreed to leave some of the details out of the DD5s. Nothing good would come out of revealing incredibly personal information about themselves.

As per hospital policy, Olivia was to be escorted out in a wheel chair.

"This is humiliating."

Elliot supported her as she got out of the chair. Her legs did not hurt, but standing felt like all her cuts, and the hole in her side, were stretching apart. Walking, she winced with every step.

Elliot had barely left her side in four days, and it was no different now. "I've got you, don't worry about falling," he reassured her.

She smiled at him. Her mind couldn't help but twist his words into something deeper. Was she falling…for him? Or had she already, a long time ago?

He walked her out of the hospital and into his waiting car. Driving, she thought about going home.

"El, I think I'm afraid to go into my apartment. It's just…so much happened there."

"I know, but we're going to deal with that together."

She thought for a few more moments. "Where are you going to live, Elliot? All this time I've been worrying about my own home, when you don't have anywhere to stay…unless you've managed to find an apartment in four days."

He sighed. "No, I haven't. And don't worry about it – your situation is more important."

"Don't be like that. Look, you can stay with me. I have room, and it would be no trouble."

He smiled. Elliot was relieved that she had offered. "Thank you. This also means I'll be able to take care of you. You won't get sick of me while we're both on vacation?"

"Take care of me? Who says I need that? And I haven't gotten sick of you in 12 years, El. I doubt a few weeks will be a problem."

"I say you need taking care of. You can barely move without being in pain."

They arrived at her apartment. Olivia's hand shook as she put the key in the lock and turned it. Stepping inside, she took a deep breath of relief. Her entire apartment had been rearranged. The chair that had held her hostage for hours was gone.

"I hope you like it. I knew coming back here would make you uneasy, so I thought that moving things around would prevent unwanted memories from resurfacing. The captain rushed CSU and handled the investigation work himself so you could come right back here when the hospital released you. Every time I left the hospital to 'run errands,' I'd come here and work on it. And I hope you are able to find everything – many of your things are not where they're supposed to be."

"Thank you, it's perfect."

They walked together through every room, turning on the lights and exploring it in detail. When they made it to her bedroom closet, Olivia hesitated. This is where Roger had hid, the one place she had forgotten to check. Gathering her strength, she opened it to find all her things reorganized so that it was barely recognizable. She sighed in relief. How could she be frightened if this didn't even look like the same closet?

She turned and smiled at him. "Thank you, El."

"It was no trouble, not at all."

"Although I've got to say that I'm a little weirded out that you're now familiar with all my personal belongings."

"You think I have any idea how to organize a closet? Definitely not. I asked Alex to help with that…and it's not like I wasn't already aware of all your personal belongings. You don't really have that many…at least not that you could hide for 12 years."

That afternoon, he moved his things into her apartment. He would sleep on the couch until he found another place to stay. It was so strange, spending so much time with her partner after the recent cryptic conversations and distance. And she was enjoying his company immensely, despite her embarrassment the first night in the hospital.

"Good night, El."

He smiled at her – the smile that made her feel like she was going to melt.

"Good night, Liv."

She turned, and walked into her bedroom, and shut the door. She opened her new closet and sighed. He'd done so much for her over the last few days. It was if he was trying to make up for the last two years. He didn't need to, but with a little guilt, she admitted it felt good. _Amazing_, actually. She found her pyjama drawer, and pulled out a t-shirt that was much too large for her and almost completely worn out. Discarding her clothes, she threw on the shirt and climbed into bed. She felt so safe knowing he was out there on her couch. And at the same time, she wanted the small distance to disappear.

"Good night, El," she whispered.

* * *

Olivia hadn't set her alarm - there was no reason to - and when she rolled over and checked the clock, she jumped up. It was already noon! How could she possibly sleep so much? She'd never slept so much in her life. _Oh right…Elliot_. She smiled to herself, got out of bed and made her way to kitchen. Before she hit it, she smelled something wonderful.

"Good morning, sunshine!" Elliot said as he saw her. He did a double take, and tried not to stare – she was only wearing a big t-shirt; no makeup. She looked even more beautiful than usual (if that was possible) in this natural state.

Olivia met his gaze with a little amusement. They'd seen each other in less clothing than this. "Good morning. Or, afternoon I guess. What are you doing?"

"I made breakfast!"

She walked closer to him and peered over his shoulder at the frying pan that hadn't been used in years.

"I hope you washed that."

"Nah…cobwebs add flavour." He smiled, and she returned it. "I made pancakes."

"Where did you get the stuff to do that?"

"Well, I was up a lot earlier then you were and went shopping. Apparently, you're catching up on years of lost sleep."

"It felt good, though. And thanks."

"You're welcome. Nice shirt, by the way." The sleeves were fraying, and there were several small holes in it.

"Oh, shut up. It's ridiculously comfortable and it's my favourite thing to sleep in."

They sat down on the couch to eat. Olivia had never had need for a kitchen table, at least not in this apartment.

"El, what are we going to do with three weeks of no work, in this small apartment together?"

"Well…I wasn't sure of that either." He paused. "Listen, I called my mother this morning."

"That's good, Elliot! I'm glad."

"It's…not easy. I've spent my whole adult life erasing my childhood. As much as I sometimes hated my mother, she's still my mother…"

It was hard for him to talk this openly. She hoped she could help him through whatever trouble he was having.

"She almost killed me...more than once. I don't know if I'll ever be able to get past that. But…I feel like I need her. And I miss her, despite how difficult it is to admit that." He shook his head, as if to shake off the thoughts he had just confessed. "Anyway, I was thinking I could go stay with her a while."

"Oh…that's a great idea!" She hoped that sounded sincere.

"Would you come with me?"

"El, I don't know. What would Kathy and your kids say?"

"I think the fresh, ocean air would be good for you."

She sighed. Way to dodge the question. "Kathy and the kids?"

"Well…it would be worse if they had to visit me here. I don't know how well they'd take it that I was staying with you. They love you, but…"

"It's a little suggestive, I get it. Okay, I'll think about it."

Elliot still didn't know the full story about Olivia talking to his mother, convincing her to help Kathleen after she was arrested and on trial. Olivia had promised Bernie that she wouldn't tell Elliot, and she had kept that promise. But…he knew something had happened involving his mother. Olivia had let something slip: _Maybe God remember how cute you were as a carrot._ She couldn't help but smile to herself whenever she thought of that picture. Maybe it would be good for her to get away. She did love the ocean.

* * *

Two days later, they were parking the car at the home of Bernadette Stabler on Long Beach Island. Elliot had won Olivia over, as usual. She still felt uncomfortable, but she figured she would have felt worse being apart from her partner.

She felt better already, and yet he insisted on carrying the luggage that she brought. They walked up to the front door together, and Olivia reached out and knocked a few times. They heard muffled shouts from inside, then the door swung open to reveal a smiling Bernadette.

"Elliot! I'm so glad you're here. Olivia...nice to see you again. I can see why you scared the pants off Kathy." She winked, and Elliot rolled his eyes. She's said the same thing the last time they met, but he didn't know that. Olivia glanced at him and noticed the red rising in his cheeks. His mother saw it too.

"Oh, calm down, Elliot. Don't tell me you didn't notice how beautiful your partner was."

Now it was Olivia's turn to blush. "Well, thank you, Bernie, but I don't know how much longer Elliot can hold up my bags."

"Oh, yes of course. Come in, come in!" She backed up and let them through the doorway. She showed Elliot to his bedroom and Olivia to the spare room. "Would either of you like some lemonade?"

"No, thanks Mom."

"No, thank you. Look, I'm sure you and your son have some catching up to do since you last talked. Do you mind if I go for a little walk on the beach?"

"No, of course not, dear. While you're here, make yourself completely at home."

Olivia smiled and nodded, and walked past both of them and out through the back door, feeling Elliot's inquisitive eyes on her back. Maybe that was a little rude. She took off her shoes, and felt the sand move around her feet as she walked to the water. Walking as close to the water as possible without getting wet, her thoughts hit her one after the other, and she felt herself bombarded. She'd never seen Elliot get embarrassed like that before. Was it just his mother, or was it because his mother was right? Had he noticed her appearance? Did he think she was beautiful? Was this weird, foreign feeling she had for him one-sided? So much had happened, and she hadn't had a release from it yet. She didn't want to cry or talk about it, and she knew if she buried it for long enough, it would hide itself with all her other troubles. She shook her head trying to clear it, but it didn't work. With a deep sigh, she turned and walked back in the direction of the house.

Olivia sat down in the sand facing the water, not caring if her clothes got dirty. A tear slid down her cheek but she brushed it away dismissively, embarrassed at herself. Suddenly, she felt a hand on her shoulder and she jumped as if electrocuted.

"Oh, I'm so sorry I startled you!" said Bernie with genuine concern.

Olivia shook her head and turned back to the water as her partner's mother took a seat beside her in the sand.

"Where's Elliot?"

"He's getting settled in and calling his children."

Olivia nodded and turned back to the water. The shorter this conversation the better.

"You know dear, hiding everything away is not good for you. It has to come out eventually."

Startled again, Olivia glared at Bernie. "How do you…?"

"Ah…I was right. I don't know very much about you, Olivia, but I can tell, especially now, that you have things that need to be sorted out. And I think I know what one of them is." She paused, figuring out how best to say it. "When you're in love with someone, sometimes you just have to go for it. Maybe there are lots of things at stake, things that make it seem impossible. I've been there dear, and I gave up the people I love. You told me once that I paid a terrible price, and you were right."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Bernie smiled. "Yes, you do. The only difference is that this time it's about reaching out, not letting go. He's right there."

"It's not that simple."

"Yes it is. Why is love such a hard thing to comprehend? By the way you look at each other, it's already there. Just embrace it."

"Bernie…I can't do this right now. It's too complicated. And…I don't even know what I think yet. There's too much going on…" She paused. "I don't mean to be rude here, and I know you're trying to help, but this really isn't any of your business."

"You're right. Just…think about it." And she got up and returned into the house.

_Great_, thought Olivia. _This is just what I need…his mother giving me advice about my personal life._ She shook her head and forced her thoughts away. This time it worked. She forbid herself to think about this again, at least not for a long time. Taking a deep breath, she got up and went back inside.

"Hey Liv. Nice walk?"

"It was, thanks." Her heart lightened when he smiled at her. "I think I'm going to go to bed early…I'm very tired."

"Seriously? Well…alright. I'm going to stay up for a while."

She nodded and went to her temporary room. It was small, but comfortable. She pulled her old, worn out t-shirt out of her bag and pulled it on, then discovered she was thirsty. Elliot had already seen her in this, so what did it matter? She walked in to the kitchen and helped herself to a glass water, and Bernie walked in.

"My goodness, what are you wearing?!"

"My pajamas. It's quite comfortable."

"That doesn't seem acceptable to me. It has holes in it! Let me go get one of my nighties."

Olivia's eyes widened. She wouldn't be caught dead wearing one of those. "No, please. Really, I'm fine."

"Mother, stop harassing my partner," Elliot said with a smile as he entered the room.

"But Elliot, look what she's wearing!"

"I can see that. It looks just fine to me."

"But - "

"Oh for God's sake, mom! If it makes you feel better I'll give her one of my old t-shirts. No holes. I'll even wash it first."

Olivia thought about refusing his offer, but she didn't. "No, El, you don't have to wash it." She hoped that wasn't too obvious.

Elliot left and got a large, faded blue t-shirt and tossed it to her. "Goodnight, Liv."

"Goodnight. Thanks, El."

As soon as she got into her room she switched shirts. It was a little smaller than its ridiculously stretched predessor, but _much _better. She remembered the last time she had borrowed an article of Elliot's clothing - the gray hoodie. Why was his clothing always so incredibly comfortable? And as a bonus...it still smelled like him.

* * *

The next few weeks passed with little incident. They stayed at Bernie's for four days. Kathleen, Dickie, Elizabeth, Eli, and even Maureen visited sporadically during that time. Elliot busied himself with his kids. He hadn't had this much time to spend with them for a long time. Olivia buried herself in books and relaxing on the beach, ignoring the pain from what had happened with the Stuckey brothers and her personal conflicts. But, as much as Elliot loved his mother, there was only so much time he could spend with her.

And soon, they found themselves back at Olivia's apartment. After a few days of doing nothing at all, they couldn't do it any longer. Olivia threw herself into apartment renovations and Elliot helped her, except for small excursions to look for his own place to live. It wasn't easy with injuries, but they worked hard and very long hours; painting and furniture shopping took up most of their time. They also redid her kitchen, not that it would be used very much when she got back to work. They finished just in time.

It was Friday night, June 26th. Elliot and Olivia sat together on the couch in the dark, just having turned the TV off. They could barely see each other, but Elliot was shirtless, and his cuts had healed except for the thin scars covering his chest. Olivia wore Elliot's old t-shirt. It covered up a small bandage on her side, where her gunshot wound was close to healed.

"It's going to be weird not having you around all day."

"Yup. I can't believe I'm starting work on Monday – it's going to be strange going back."

"What am I going to do with myself for a week? I've never spent this much time alone with nothing to do before. These last few weeks…well, I've gotten used to having you around." She didn't add that she immensely enjoyed his almost constant company.

"It's only a week, and then you're back to work too."

"True…no luck with an apartment yet?"

"Actually yeah, I meant to tell you. This afternoon I found a possible one just outside of Queens, so it won't be too far for the kids."

"That's good, El."

He raised an eyebrow at her. "You want me gone that bad?"

"Of course not. You've been a permanent fixture around here: cooking, cleaning…it will be very strange when the maid moves out. I've had nothing to worry about…"

"Yeah, you're a regular monk…ette." He watched her memory surface of the old joke, and she smiled. It seemed like forever ago. And this time it didn't even make sense, but neither of them pointed that out.

* * *

The next Monday, Olivia walked into the squadroom, and placed her belongings at her desk, then proceeding directly to the Captain's office.

He looked up and smiled. "It's great to see you back. It's been one hectic month, and the others will be happy to have your help."

"It's nice to see you too, Don." She grinned at him.

"Yeah, yeah. Now get back to work. John, Fin and Elliot will fill you in."

She nodded, and turned to leave.

"Oh, actually one thing – the crib is being renovated. For the first time in probably forever, we'll actually have decent mattresses, and new, clean sheets to use. So if you need somewhere to sleep, the city has paid for a few rooms in a hotel on the corner."

"They can afford this?"

"Well, probably not. But when I complained enough…"

"Right. Thanks for letting me know."

She left his office and walked to her desk. She barely had time to sit down before she heard Munch's voice.

"Olivia! It's great to see you. Fin, why don't you fill her in on the fabulous new friends we made while she was gone."

"Ah, John, quit being such a drama queen." He turned to her. "Seriously though, for three weeks, we had two detectives on loan from homicide. Fill-ins, you might call 'em. Man, that was intense. They were okay people, they just didn't know how things roll around here. What Munch is trying to say is…thank God you're back."

"Thanks, guys. It's good to be back."

She turned finally to her partner, sitting at his desk. All he did was smile, and it filled her heart with warmth. They didn't have to say anything. She had helped him move his stuff to his new apartment this past week. Everything was back as it should be – sitting across from each other, working.


	6. Chapter 6

Warning: I don't want anyone to be upset, so I thought I'd warn you. This chapter has a fairly detailed description of Olivia's sexual assault, and also a rape case involving teenagers. Additionally, I thought I'd point out that I hate seeing Olivia upset on the show, so this was difficult to write. But…after everything she's been through, "something had to give."

Disclaimer: I, sadly, do not own the characters used in the writing of this story. It is for entertainment purposes only, and no profit is being made.

* * *

The bull pen was bustling, even on a Saturday. Elliot and Olivia sat at their desks, as did Munch and Fin, while Don stood leisurely between them.

"Olivia, what did you get from our 4th victim?"

"Ellen Forbes, 14. Ran away from her group home and got lost. Was attacked by our perp in front of a school around midnight last night. She's really scared, I didn't want to push her too hard, but it seems to be the same story: older white male who looked strangely familiar held her against a fence and…orally sodomized her."

"You seem pretty caught up in this case."

"I talked to Ellen for hours. She's not doing well, and she doesn't have many people she can trust or rely on. In fact, I think I might be the only person she has right now. I just want to catch this guy, that's all."

Olivia could feel Fin's eyes on her, and tried her best to hide how much this case was bothering her.

"Okay, so we got 4 victims, ages 14-18. DNA in or on all the victims, finger prints at the scenes. No matches on any arrest records. Huang's at some sort of conference, so we'll have to do the best we can without his profiling. Hmm…this guy is sloppy, probably new at the game, agreed?"

"Sounds mildly plausible, Captain. The girls described him as between 50 and 60 years old, so he's most likely some sort of loner, the type of guy everyone passes by without noticing," Munch added.

Fin grinned. "Kind of sounds like you, Munch."

He snorted. "Not true. You notice me."

"Yeah, but only because I got to."

Elliot stopped listening to the usual banter. He was too distracted by his partner. He knew her well enough to know that she was really struggling to contain her emotions. He didn't know why, but he knew it was bad. She returned his gaze, and the mask that she had spent her entire life perfecting suddenly fell away, and he was shocked to see all the hurt and pain in her eyes. As quickly as it was revealed, it disappeared. Her face was defiant, but also desperate, and he wanted to help. Elliot mouthed _Go _as clearly as possible without the others noticing. She tilted her head slightly, questioning and apprehensive, and he nodded encouragingly. Olivia flashed him a small smile, and quickly excused herself. His eyes followed her until she was no longer visible, and then he forced himself to pay attention to the others.

"…so he's probably escalating, and he might get better at covering his tracks. Munch, Fin – go over the victims interviews taken by the detectives who filled in for Benson and Stabler. Let's try to find something, a connection." Don paused. "Where's Olivia?"

"She just went to the washroom. I think she ate something this morning that didn't sit too well in her stomach…she shouldn't be too long," Elliot lied. _Actually, she was really upset and she probably hadn't slept in days because of this case_.

"Ah…right. Well, it's around 5pm. When she gets back, you can help Munch and Fin for a bit, then maybe we can actually go home at a decent hour for once."

As soon as the captain turned his back, Elliot was on his feet. If Olivia was missing crucial information about such a pressing case, there had to be something really wrong. But what it was, he didn't know, and it tortured him that he couldn't help.

He checked the darkened interrogation rooms, the bathroom, and then it him. The crib, obviously…the captain had said it was temporarily closed. The construction crew should be gone by now, so it would be deserted. He took the stairs two at a time, but approached the door slowly. He pushed it open and stepped into almost complete darkness. He moved to turn on the lights, but Olivia anticipated his movements.

"Don't turn on the lights."

Her voice was distant and shaky…weak even. Elliot started walking in the direction of her voice, moving slowly so as not to trip over tool boxes and other miscellaneous items, feeling his way while his eyes adjusted to the dark.

Gradually, he could make out her shape, and with each step he took, a part of him wanted nothing more than to turn back. Olivia was sitting on the floor in the back corner, hugging her knees to her chest. When he came close to her and stopped, he could see dark smudges where the little makeup she was wearing was smeared by tears.

"Liv?"

She didn't reply. He could tell she was embarrassed, but he sat down beside her anyway, removing his blazer to get more comfortable. "Look, you don't have to talk if you don't want too, but I'm here if you do. I'm your partner, but I'm also your friend."

She didn't respond for several minutes, except for the occasional sniff. Elliot reached out his hand to comfort her, but thought better of it. He thought about leaving, and then she spoke.

"Elliot, promise me that whatever you hear in this conversation, you will not seek out Lowell Harris, you won't hurt anyone or yourself in the process. Please promise."

This did not bode well, but what choice did he have if he wanted to help her?

"I promise."

She sighed. "Just over a year ago, when I was at Sealview, something did happen in the basement. Lowell Harris took me down there. He…shoved me on a mattress, then pushed me up against a wall. It was…horrible and I couldn't escape or fight back because I was still handcuffed. He unlocked one wrist, and I got away from him and I hid. But he found me. I'll never forget the sound….the fence."

Elliot didn't understand, but he didn't stop her. He got a strange feeling in his chest and gut, almost like nausea. He didn't know why she was telling him this now. She was staring straight ahead the whole time, as if she could see it all happening in front of her. He could feel his anger rising, but pushed it down.

"He hit me, twice, then I got away again somehow, but the door was locked. So he caught up to me, and handcuffed me to the bars."

She paused and took a few rattling breaths. Each one wrenched Elliot's heart, but he willed himself to stay strong for her, noticing the tears slowly sliding down her cheeks. He couldn't help her if he didn't know the truth.

"I was on the ground. My legs and one free arm were pinned beneath me. Harris…undid his pants, shoved himself in my face, threatening my life if I bit him. He was pushing himself closer to me, and I was trying so hard not to give in but I was terrified and it felt like those few moments lasted forever. Fin came just in time…Harris came so close."

She stopped and blinked a few times, as if awakening from a dream, and then kept going.

"I was okay at first, then I started reliving it. I was uneasy, I couldn't sleep. I'm…better now, but parts of what happened jump out at me from different cases…parts of other victims' stories make me think about mine. Everything that has happened to me in the last month, plus this case…"

She let him put the rest together. Everything that has happened to her, all the pain she had kept to herself, was escaping, boiling over, because it had become too much. The lack of sleep probably didn't help either.

"Liv…why didn't you tell me?"

She didn't look at him, just kept looking down at her feet. "At first I was in denial that it had even happened…I was embarrassed. And then I was afraid of your reaction, of what you'd do….of how you'd handle it."

She had been protecting _him_ from the damage. It crashed over him like a giant wave. He had hurt her so badly…

"_I can protect her from the damage!"_

"_No, you can't. You should know that better than anyone."_

He was at a loss for words. There was so much to process. He did his best to fight the rage at this man who had hurt her. He wanted to hit something, preferably Lowell Harris' face. He wanted nothing more than to throttle him…but he had promised her…_Damn, she knew him too well._

"El?"

Her voice was still weak. He pulled himself together, barely.

"That's not all, is it?"

She hesitated. He could almost see her struggling internally.

"Tell me…" She had heard him use these words before…it worked last time too.

"I just…ah…remember when…remember when I told you that it's like I sell a piece of myself every case to get the job done? Well…12 years – that's a lot of tiny pieces, some bigger than others. And Harris took something…the Stuckey brothers took something…El…it just doesn't feel like there's much left."

On the last few words, she broke down into sobs, leaned over and curled into Elliot's chest. He put his arm around her shoulder, trying to comfort her in any way he could. But, God, he was scared. And he had no idea what to say.

The sobbing died down slowly, but she didn't move from his arms. Still crying, she shakily continued: "I don't know if I can do this anymore…it's so hard. There seems to be so many reasons to leave. I want to have a child so badly, El, and I can't do it while I work here and I already feel like it's too late. But…I have no idea what I'd do if I left. This job, the…people I work with…it's my whole life. Some things are so complicated…it feels like it would be easier to leave again. Sometimes I just feel so tired and weak…I don't know why exactly, but this case just sent everything crashing down on me…"

So this was the real issue. Not only was she unsure of her ability to get the job done after all she's been through, she was afraid of what she might miss out on if she stayed. And if she left, she was scared of losing everything she had built her life around – the job, the people she helped, the people she worked with…_himself._ And it was all tearing her apart.

"Olivia, I need you to listen to me carefully…you are not weak. In fact, you're the strongest person I know, have ever known. I don't know how you do it sometimes, I really don't, but it seems that it has all caught up with you. You've taken in so much pain, your own and others, something had to give. You've spent so much of your life being strong for others, you neglect to save some strength for yourself. And I realize now, that I am one of those people. And I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for all the hurt, all the pain I've caused you…"

He held back his own tears. He knew she had a choice to make, and it had to be her choice alone…but the thought of doing this job without her…again…terrified him. Olivia didn't say anything, perhaps she couldn't, so he continued:

"And I want you to know that whatever you choose, it has to be for you…but either way, I will support you. If you decide to leave, I will help you find a new job – and if you have a child, I'll help, even babysit. You won't lose me. If you stay here at SVU…I will have your back every step of the way, Liv. I know you're strong enough to do this, and when it feels like you're not, I'll lend you whatever strength I have. Either way, I'll be here."

She didn't say anything, but he could feel her tears soaking through his shirt. She was shivering, so he grabbed his blazer and pulled it around her shoulders. A few minutes passed, and when her breathing evened out, he took a chance and looked down at her.

She was asleep. He smiled. If he could put her at ease long enough for her to fall asleep for the first time in days, he'd at least accomplished something.

It wasn't a difficult discussion – Elliot was going to let her rest. She looked so peaceful, and it was such a dramatic contrast to the distraught Olivia he had just been talking to. He had a lot to think about anyway, so he wasn't going to get bored.

He was aware of the two sides of his partner – her strength, and her vulnerability. The victims were drawn to her for this reason. The problem was he so used to the strong side of her, and this incredibly vulnerable Olivia frightened him. This terrible onslaught of emotions had seemed to come on so suddenly, but that was often the case. The smallest thing could set off something held inside for too long.

She was worried about being weak. Hell, she probably thought she was weak in his eyes. With bitter resentment, he remembered things he'd said to her that would make it seem that way. _Liv, what do you want me to tell you? Things happen, I deal with it, I move on. I'm not going to wallow in it._ It wasn't true. She was so right about him: bottling it up inside, or beating up perps, walls or garbage cans, did not work for him. How could she know him so well, and yet he missed this deep-seated, very prevalent, issue of hers?

And there was something else she wasn't telling him. He'd been having these feelings towards her…he always felt something, but ever since the hospital, he looked at her differently. Was she feeling the same way, and was twisted up about it? He shook his head…that can't be part of the problem.

Just then he heard the door creak open and a beam of light shone into the dark room. "Don't turn on the light," he whispered.

He listened as the door shut and the footsteps got closer until the captain was staring down at them. They spoke in hushed voices, as quietly as possible.

"What's going on here, Detective?"

"It's not what it looks like, Captain. Well…I guess it is. The case was getting to Olivia, and she fell asleep…hasn't slept in a while."

"That seems to happen a lot." Don paused. "Right…well, when your partner is feeling better from that bad food she ate, bring her back downstairs. Just don't take too long."

Elliot smiled. "Thanks, Don."

The captain nodded, glanced quickly at Olivia and turned back towards the door. Once through it, he stopped and shook his head. They couldn't do this job forever. At some point, it would be too much.

* * *

At 9pm, Elliot gently prodded his partner to wake her up. She woke with a start, and disentangled herself from Elliot.

"Uh…"

"You fell asleep. I let you sleep. It's nine o'clock now."

Olivia didn't say anything at first, but she removed Elliot's jacket from around her shoulders and gave it back to him, her hand lingering.

"Thank you." She glanced at his chest. "Sorry about your shirt."

"Don't worry about it. I have an extra in my locker."

Olivia turned away from Elliot, not meeting his eyes, and started walking toward the door. She didn't get far before she felt his hand on her elbow, and she spun to face her partner.

"Liv…what are you going to do?"

She could see the anticipation in his face, the worry. The truth was, he'd said everything she'd needed to hear, and was the only shoulder – or chest – she could have cried on. His warm, strong arms around her and his calming voice… She felt confident again…all she needed was his words of support, telling her he'd be there for her. With firm resolve, she promised not to let herself read too much into it.

She smiled at her partner. "Let's get back to work." And without waiting to see his reaction she kept walking. She could feel his relief and almost see the smile that was spreading across his face as she left the crib.


	7. Chapter 7

Again...sorry it took forever.

Side note: I used, as far as I know, a fictional high school for a location. It didn't feel right to use a real one.

Disclaimer: I, sadly, do not own the characters used in the writing of this story. It is for entertainment purposes only, and no profit is being made.

* * *

Elliot followed Olivia back into the squad room. He had never been good at talking to her, but this time it seemed to have worked. She was staying! He was so relieved, _he_ felt like crying.

"Where have you two been? Engaging in some…extra-curricular activities?" Munch winked at them suggestively.

Elliot blushed – it seemed to be happening more often lately, especially when his partner was involved – but Olivia didn't miss a beat.

"My partner was with a member of his family. I was dealing with some digestion issues that involved bad milk. You really want to know the details of that?"

Fin made a face and Olivia had a very hard time controlling her laughter. She glanced up at the screens and the faces of the victims, and her mood lowered significantly. She suddenly felt extremely tired again.

"You all right?" Fin asked.

"Fine. Just the after effects."

"Well, don't hurl on me."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Okay, what's going on with the case?"

Munch sighed. "Well, we've been over the interviews your fill-ins took of the first three victims: Audrey Stone, 18, Kate Newbury, 16, and Sarah Rivers, 16; and then we went back over the info you got from Ellen. We couldn't find a connection other than they're all young and pretty brunettes in the same neighbourhood. We'll have to re-interview them tomorrow."

"Are you sure? Any random things that could lead us to more information?"

Fin picked up their folders and leafed through a few pages. "No, I don't think so."

"Alright, I'll go through them myself. I really don't like having to pick up a case part way through, especially from people who don't really know what they're doing."

Elliot was standing slightly behind her, and reached up and squeezed her shoulder. "I don't like it either, but we'll find a way to get this guy."

Fin and Munch gave each other a look. Apparently, those two were "close" again.

"We're sure he doesn't have any priors? No matches at all to his prints or DNA?"

Don overheard, and closed the few steps between him and the group in seconds. "Yes. We've been through this, Detective."

"I know…" She shook her head slightly and ran her hand back through her hair, closing her eyes. Elliot recognized the tired and stressed body language she so often used.

"Alright, all of you go home," said Don. He knew the signs almost as well as Elliot did. "There's no more you can do tonight, it's already nine thirty."

The others turned away and started gathering their things. Elliot turned back to his partner, concern written all over his features.

"You want a ride home?"

"Ah, no thanks. I'm going to stay awhile."

"You need sleep. Four hours in three days is not enough."

"Maybe not. But you understand why I need this guy put away as soon as possible?"

His anger flared, he pushed it down. He _hated_ Lowell Harris, more than he ever hated a person in his life. "I do. But you're not going to be able to do it tonight."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Goodnight, Elliot," she said dismissively, and sorted going through the files.

He turned away, dejected. She rolled her eyes again, this time at herself. "El, wait. Thank you for earlier. I know…I…I'm glad that you're…"

He smiled. "You're welcome. Would you like me to stay?"

"No, go home. I'll see you in the morning."

"Goodnight. Don't stay up too late. Call if you need anything." He smiled and then left.

* * *

Olivia barely noticed as the squad room slowly emptied out around her. She was getting closer to the answer, she could feel it. It wasn't just hope…it couldn't be. She must have read the case files several times already, picking up on different small things each time she read them. It wasn't hard for her to become completely lost in her work. She jumped when her phone rang.

"Detective Benson."

"Hi…it's Ellen, Ellen Forbes?"

"Hi, Ellen. Is everything alright? It's getting close to midnight."

"I know, I hope I'm not bothering you."

Olivia's voice was gentle, comforting. After 12 years, she had perfected it. "Don't worry. I told you that you could call at any time about anything. I wouldn't have said that if I didn't mean it. Now, what can I help you with?"

"I…well, I'm just feeling kind of scared…and alone." He voice shook. She sounded even younger than she already was.

"Okay, hang in there, Ellen. I'm coming to your group home."

"Oh, that's okay! You don't have to…"

"I want to. I'll be there in half an hour."

In 25 minutes, Olivia was pulling into the group home. She shook her head as she approached. She would never get over the state of this place…a room with a bunch of beds. She knocked at the door and after a few moments a woman answered in pyjamas.

"Can I help you? It's past midnight."

Olivia held up her badge. "I'm Detective Benson, we've spoken before. I need to see Ellen."

"She's asleep. Come back in the morning." She moved to shut the door, but Olivia reached out and pushed it back.

"Do you really want me to call in my friends? I guarantee you don't want a bunch of members from the health department swarming this place looking for asbestos poisoning or mould…something tells me they might actually find some."

The woman gave her an appraising and disgruntled look. "Make it quick, alright?"

Olivia nodded, but she had no intention of following those instructions. She would take as long as she needed. Brushing past the owner, she had a feeling that the woman didn't care about these kids at all, just the government funding. She walked down the short hallway until she found the bedroom and quietly slipped inside. Ellen's bed was at the far end, but Olivia didn't have to walk that far. The teenager was already moving down the row of beds. Her eyes were red and wide, and she was trembling. Olivia pulled her into a hug.

"Easy, Ellen. Shhh…It's going to be okay," she whispered. "Let's go into the common room."

Never removing her arm from the child's shoulder, she led her into the next room and they sat on one of the musty old couches.

"I'm here now. You're safe."

"I just…feel so alone here, and what if he comes to find me?"

"He won't. And I'm here now. Do you want to talk?"

Ellen looked up into Olivia's eyes. There was something very familiar about them – they both shared the same kind of pain. "My parents were killed in a car accident a few months ago. I…don't have anyone else to stay with. So they put me here."

"I'm so sorry, Ellen. Have you made any friends?"

"No…I basically keep to myself."

Olivia sighed. Sounded familiar. "Look, my parents are gone too. I know it's hard, but you're not alone anymore, okay?" _And neither was she. She had Elliot._ "Why don't we talk about something else? What have you been doing this summer?"

"Well, not a lot. I'm going to this art program at Manhattan Community High School. Its okay, I guess. My favourite subject is history in school, but I've always like to draw and paint."

Something clicked in the back of Olivia's mind. "What school did you say it was at?"

"Manhattan Community." She looked at Olivia's focused expression apprehensively. "Olivia?"

"Ellen, do you remember anything else about your attacker? Did he look familiar at all?"

She looked down at her knees, embarrassed.

"It's okay, you can tell me."

"He…I thought I'd seen him before. But I can't place him! I'm so stupid…"

"Listen to me. You are not stupid. It takes courage to report what happened to you, and even more to talk to me about it. And a stupid person couldn't be excelling in art and history. Would you excuse me for a few minutes? I need to make a call."

"Umm…okay."

"It won't take long, I promise."

Olivia got up and walked into the hallway. She pulled out the phone numbers of the other victims. She liked to carry them with her, just in case. It was getting close to 1am, but if they were anything like her, they wouldn't be sleeping either.

A groggy voice answered, "Hello?"

"Hi Audrey, it's Detective Olivia Benson. I am so sorry to disturb you at this hour. I didn't wake you did I?"

"I haven't gotten much sleep lately."

"I thought that might be the case. Anyway, I was wondering if you have ever been to the Manhattan Community High School?"

* * *

Elliot lay in his relatively new bed staring up at the ceiling. He had given up on sleeping hours ago. He had to get up to go to work soon anyway.

What had happened today? Had things between him and Olivia really changed so much that she cried on his shoulder, and shared her deepest problems with him? That's not what was really bothering him though. He'd shared a moment with his partner in the crib. He saw something in her eyes when she turned back to look at him, and he could feel the same thing in his eyes when he looked at her.

Suddenly, his cell phone vibrated loudly against his bedside table. He reached over, quickly glanced at the display screen, and then answered.

"Hey Liv. Everything okay?"

"Fine, thanks. I hope I didn't wake you."

"No, couldn't sleep."

"Seems to be a popular trend these days. Look, I have a suspect. And I'm pretty sure he's our guy."

"What? It's five o'clock in the morning. How the hell did you figure it out?"

"Ellen called me around midnight – she was scared, I went to visit her. I didn't ask her about it before, but she goes to the Manhattan Community High School."

"You didn't ask her what school she goes to? And what does it matter now? It's the middle of July."

"Yes, I did, but she was in between schools – you know, public school and high school. And I know what month it is. She's goes to Manhattan Community for a summer art program, like a camp. Anyway, I remembered seeing something about it in one of the other reports, but I couldn't place it, so I called the other 3 victims. Kate goes to school there. Audrey said her younger sister goes to that school. She went there a week before her attack, June 28, for some sort of end-of-school event with her sister. And Sarah not only walks by it every day to get home from her own school, but went to a summer community fair there a week ago."

"Woah…you sure about all this? It seems like a pretty big coincidence."

"No, it's not. They all live in the same area. I went back to the precinct and looked up the school. It hosts a lot of community events. They keep it open during the summer for summer school and other programs. And it's right down the street from the area of our attacks."

"That's good work, Liv. But how did you narrow down a suspect?"

"Well, all the girls said they thought they'd seen the perp before. But, he can't be a teacher or one of the program coordinators because one of them would have recognized him. I ruled out parents or grandparents of other children. It just doesn't seem plausible that one guy saw all four girls if he just goes to the school once in a while. So, I looked up the janitors on staff there. During the school year, there are five. During the summer, there are two."

"Great. So we bring them both in and sweat them."

"I don't think that will be necessary."

"Why not?"

"One of them is a 45 year old African American female by the name of…Michele Okonkwo."

"Let me guess: the other is a 50 to 60 year old white guy?"

"Yes, by the name of Philip Starling. I've called Alex – the warrant is on its way. Will you pick me up at the House and come with me to the school?"

"What…now? He won't even be there."

"Okonkwo works nights. She's off in an hour, and then our guy comes in. I thought we could get there and strategize a bit."

"Are you sure, Liv? Look, I'm sure Munch, Fin and I can handle this."

"I need to be the one to collar this guy."

"I understand that. But…you're tired; this will be your first arrest since you came back…"

"I can handle it. Thanks, El, I know you're trying to help. But you also I know I wouldn't jeopardize this case for personal reasons."

He sighed. "You're right, I do. I'll call Munch and Fin, let them know."

"Thanks, see you soon."

* * *

Half and hour later, Olivia and Elliot drove in, and then watched as Munch and Fin arrived a few minutes later. They went to the front parking lot of the school – she'd already figured out that the janitors parked at the back. She didn't want to give Starling a heads up. Elliot and Olivia hadn't talked much in the car – she'd been lost in thought, but not deep enough that she didn't notice the side-glances Elliot kept shooting at her. She appreciated how much he cared about her well-being, but she had said she was fine…several times.

"Hey guys, "she said as they got out of their cars. "You don't mind if I take point on this, do you?"

"By all means, take it," said Munch. "You basically figured this case out on your own."

"Well, we still have to make sure his finger prints and DNA match once we catch him."

They huddled around a map of school. "So, how are we going to do this? I've talked Michele, the other janitor, so she can help us..."

* * *

Philip unlocked the door to the school, and then locked it behind him. It had been a week since the last time a girl had serviced him, and he was starting to feel anxious. Time to pick out another…He couldn't help but feel so angry all the time at everyone. They were all so dismissive of his existence and he hated them. Most of the time people just passed him by without noticing his presence; others glanced at him and then averted their eyes. He was desperate…and he couldn't control himself. At least…that's what he kept telling himself. He went for the sad ones, the vulnerable ones. They stood out in the crowd because they had something in common with him. And yet they were also like all the others, and he hated them for it. He changed into his work clothes, and pulled the janitorial cart out of the supply closet.

"Hi there, Mr. Starling."

He whipped around to face a rather beautiful woman and an older, gangly man.

"Who are you and what are you doing here? The school's closed."

Olivia and Munch held up their badges. "Not to us it isn't. We have a warrant." She watched as Elliot and Fin turned the corner at the other end of the hallway, cautiously making their way down towards them. Starling was cornered.

He followed her gaze, and then wildly turned his head back and forth, unsure of who to look at as they continued to approach him.

"Look, I didn't do anything wrong."

Elliot eyed the mop Starling was brandishing through the air. He didn't want that hurting anyone.

"We know that, Philip. Just come with us, and no one has to get hurt here."

"Hurt? What are you going to do to me?"

He raised his broom higher, and gripped it one would handle a spear or a lance. It wasn't that harmful, but it could be. Elliot reached for his gun, but Olivia gently shook her head.

"Philip, let's not to anything foolish."

He didn't answer, but continued looking back and forth. Elliot's hand instinctively went to his gun again, ready for whatever happened. It all happened so quickly though. Philip seemed to decide which pair of detectives he would rather take on. Elliot's heart stopped as the perp charged his partner. He watched as Olivia shoved Munch away from her and he hit the wall. Philip was on her, and then suddenly, she was beside him, and then on top of him. Elliot blinked, as if coming out of a trance. He looked over at Fin – he had the same stunned look on his face.

"Philip Starling, you are under arrest for the attempted assault of a police officer and you should not have underestimated me. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law. You have a right to an attorney. If you cannot afford one, one will be appointed to you." She dragged him up off the ground, already cuffed. He just growled at her. "I'll take that as a yes. Munch, can you take him?"

"Sure thing. Come on, scum bag."

"Liv, what the hell was that?"

"I figured we'd nail him for the oral rape charges when the DNA and fingerprints match."

"That's not what I'm talking about."

She smiled. "I didn't want Munch to get hurt. I predicted Philip's movements, sidestepped him, and tripped him up."

"That was some fancy footwork, Liv," marvelled Fin.

She yawned. Covering her mouth, she tried to suppress it.

"And it appears it's all catching up with her. Meet you back at the House, okay Fin?"

"Yup. Ah damn, the car is going to smell extra bad now."

* * *

Olivia and Elliot arrived back at the House a few minutes after Munch and Fin. Philip was already in the cage.

She sat down at her desk, exhausted.

"Nice tackle, Olivia. You're making us all look bad."

"Oh, come on, John! You all helped."

"Perhaps," added Fin, "but you basically closed this case single-handedly."

"But - "

"I wouldn't bother arguing."

Olivia sighed. Maybe she was being too modest. She looked up, and noticed Elliot smiling at her from across their desks.

"What? And don't say 'nothing.' "

He smiled even more, enough that it made her want to melt.

"Elliot, Olivia. Can I see you in my office?" Don called from across the room.

Elliot's smile faded, and his eyes darted furtively around. "We didn't do anything wrong, did we?"

"I don't think so…"

"Now, please!" Don's voice sounded stern, but not angry.

They stood in sync, and walked together past the other desk and into the Captain's office. He closed the door behind them.

"You did some good work last night, Olivia."

"Thank you, Captain."

Don sighed as he sat down in his chair. "Remember about 3 years ago when I had you both evaluated to deem whether or not it was appropriate for you two to be working together?"

The glanced at each other, alarmed. No one had talked about it since it had happened. It seemed so long ago. Olivia yawned – she was so tired. She silently prayed they wouldn't have to go through this again…she feared the results would be different.

"Well?"

"Yes, I remember." Elliot just nodded.

"I don't know what happened last night between you two. I know you're good friends. But…while it is part of my job to look out for the interests of my detectives, I also have to make sure they are competent to get the job done. Don't make me have to call in the docs again. And I'll have you know, that I chose to keep you here because you're my two best detectives, not because the results of your interviews reflected well upon your professional relationship…or lack of one."

Olivia looked completely lost. "What are you - "

"I had a chat with your partner last night while you were…indisposed."

"Cap, I told you what happened there. Olivia was having a hard time dealing with the case. She fell asleep."

"Right. The…'food poisoning'. Just don't let it happen again. You can go."

Olivia was staring at the captain in disbelief. Elliot shook his head. How could this be happening all over again, especially now when it might be more justified?

Olivia turned to leave. She opened the door, and stumbled. Elliot caught her elbow, but still heard a solid thud when he knee hit the floor. He pulled her upright. She closed her eyes and sighed.

"You alright?"

"Yeah…just lost my footing."

Elliot turned back, and saw the captain was giving him an evaluating look…he ignored it. They walked back towards their desks – Elliot didn't let go of his partner's arm.

"I'm taking you home. Now."

"Elliot, its morning. I have to stay at work."

"I will not have you stress yourself out anymore. You need rest. Besides, you're no good to us half alive."

"Oh, thanks. I can't just leave."

"Yes, you can. I'll cover for you."

"I'm sure that will help our case with the boss."

"I don't care. Your well-being is more important."

She stopped walking and looked at him. He was still holding her arm and she didn't try to free herself from his grasp.

"Don't move." He let go and fumbled around in her desk, grabbing her wallet and her keys. She wobbled slightly, but before anything happened, he had a hold of her arm again, supporting her.

"Thank you," she managed to get out. As soon as Olivia was seated in the car, she was asleep. Elliot half-carried her up into her apartment, waited while she changed into his old shirt, and made sure she was settled in bed.

"See you tomorrow," he said quietly, but she was already fast asleep…and she was smiling. He couldn't help but notice how beautiful she was.


	8. Chapter 8

Sorry again for the delay in updates. It's been terribly hectic at school.  
Please review!

Disclaimer: I, sadly, do not own the characters used in the writing of this story. It is for entertainment purposes only, and no profit is being made.

* * *

Elliot and Olivia chased a perp through a suburban neighbourhood in Queens. Olivia was about 15 feet behind her partner – she'd always envied his ability to run fast and far, although she was in pretty good shape herself. She tried to keep her breath as steady as possible, but she was losing steam. On a sidewalk in the middle of the day, the perp, James Tyler, had already knocked over several pedestrians. Keeping her eyes on Elliot, she watched as he rounded a corner. A few seconds later, she almost fell over him. Tyler dropped a rake, and kept running.

"You okay?!" she yelled.

"Yeah," Elliot wheezed from the ground, clutching his chest. "Keep going!"

And she took off again. This time she was fuelled by anger and she managed to catch up. As Tyler approached a corner, she prepared herself for getting hit and forgot to watch her feet. She went flying over a strategically placed umbrella, and landed several feet short from Tyler, who stood there smiling down at her.

She looked up and smiled right back at him.

"What are you so happy about, bitch?"

"You should have watched your back." And Fin jumped him from behind.

"Thanks, Detective Tutuola."

"No problem! James Tyler, you are under arrest for the rape and murder of Theresa Tyler. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law. You have the right to an attorney…"

"Good show, guys," approved Munch as he got out of the car. He helped Fin put Tyler in the back seat.

Just then, Elliot rounded the corner, breathing raggedly, and noticed the blood soaking through his partner's pants.

"Liv, you alright?"

"I'm fine. Just a scratch. I tripped over an old umbrella that, I suspect, was conveniently thrown just for the purpose of tripping me."

She lifted up her pants to reveal a long cut on her left shin.

"Are you sure you're okay? That may need stitches."

"El, seriously, I'm okay. Are you?"

"I'm fine. Bastard just knocked the wind out of me."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

Elliot watched as a mischievous smile spread across her face. _Oh crap…I set myself up for that one._

"Are you sure you're okay, El? I mean, your lung could have exploded, or you heart stopped! Should I get you to a hospital, call an ambulance?!"

"Oh, shut up. You've been hanging around Munch for too long."

"Well taught my apprentice is," said Munch in a freaky imitation of Yoda's voice.

"Please don't tell me you just referenced _Star Wars_."

"What's the matter, Elliot? Not a fan?"

"No actually, I am, which is why I shudder to think of you tainting it."

"Taint it? I think not. Anyway, we'll meet you back at the House. Olivia, you might want to get that looked at." He pointed down at her leg.

She scoffed at him. "I'll just put a few Band-Aids on it," she said dismissively, with a wave of her hand. Elliot shook his head.

* * *

Back at the precinct, Olivia, Don, George and Elliot watched as James Tyler prowled around the interrogation room.

"You'll need to get a confession. We don't have DNA or forensics. Hear-say of abuse by some of Theresa's friends is not going be admissible."

"He's not going to confess to me. This guy hates women," added Olivia with a look of disgust.

"He doesn't hate them; he just thinks they're below him. Theresa was his possession; he controlled her, like a slave. She probably did something that displeased him or disobeyed his instructions so he killed her. But to him it's not like he ended someone's life. It's like...you or I disposing of an appliance that has stopped working. And he's never going to confess, because he doesn't think she matters."

"Is he psychotic, Doctor?"

"No. He knows what he did was wrong, he just doesn't care."

"Okay fine, so how do we get him to talk about it?" asked Elliot.

"Act out a similar relationship. Be his friend, Elliot. Be like him. He'll love to share what he would consider old war stories."

Elliot glanced at Olivia from top to bottom and then back up again, trying not to enjoy it too much. "You'll need to change."

* * *

An hour later, Elliot was sitting across from their perp in the interrogation room. "So, Mr. Tyler. Sorry about all that back there. I hope we didn't give you a scare. And I apologise for the wait."

"Screw you."

Elliot held up his hands as if in surrender. "All right, all right. You're a good guy, James. I was stupid enough to let my girl get out of hand."

"That bitch is yours?"

"I'm afraid so." Right on cue, Elliot's cell phone rang.

"Speak of the devil. Excuse me for one second, will you?" He flipped it open. "Hello?……..no, it's no use apologizing to me. You messed up. How do you expect me to forgive you?.......We'll see…see you in a few." He snapped his phone shut and grinned. "She's putting on something nice."

James scoffed. "Yeah, right."

"You don't believe me. Well, you'll just see for yourself then."

They sat in silence for about 5 minutes, sizing each other up. Elliot prayed this would work. Suddenly, the door opened and Olivia walked in. He looked up at her, and wasn't afraid to stare…everyone else would think he was acting the part. She was dressed in a tight, low-cut, little black dress. It was perfect. Elliot shook his head, and looked back at James, looking angry and hurt.

"Honey, I'm so sorry," Olivia said from behind in a cooing voice. She pressed her body into Elliot's back and held his shoulders.

"It's not me you have to apologize to," he returned coldly.

Olivia looked up at James. "I'm sorry, sir. I was out of line. Speaking to you like that…it was wrong."

James stared at her for a few moments, and then nodded. She smiled and came around to face Elliot in his chair. She bent down to Elliot's ear strategically, giving James a grand view of her butt (but unfortunately giving her partner a good view of her chest), and whispered, "This better work." Then she pretended to play with her partner's ear; her right hand on his shoulder, the other approaching his waste line.

Elliot shuddered involuntarily. He felt the heat rising within him. Hopefully the people watching behind the mirror wouldn't notice. When he couldn't take it any longer, he grabbed both her hands and pushed her away from him.

"Thank you. That will be all."

She curtsied to him lightly, then quickly left the room. He watched as James' eyes followed her out. He wished he could do the same.

"Wow, man. I'm impressed. How long have you had that one?"

"A few months. It doesn't take long to get them tuned up, once you've had lots of practice. This was easier to tame than the last one."

"What happened to her?"

"She fell out of favour. I dealt with her and moved on."

"Hmm…I hope you taught the bitch a lesson first."

"Naturally. What about you?"

James shook is head. "What is it with women these days? I asked my last one, Theresa, to fetch me a beer. She refused. She said she had had enough. Right…as if she ever had a choice."

Elliot scoffed. "No, of course not."

"I taught her a lesson, and then disposed of her."

Elliot took a deep breath. He felt sick. He always did when he had to act like someone so horrible. Without another word, he left the room. Cragen and George were staring at him, and then at Olivia. _What?_ Isn't this what they had asked them to do?

He glanced at his partner and she glared him.

"I need to talk to you in private. Now." She stormed upstairs to the crib, and he followed, utterly confused and bewildered. She waited until he was inside, flipped on the lights and slammed the door behind him.

"What's wrong? I didn't upset you did I? It was just the job."

"What was that back there?!" She gestured her arm wildly at him, expressing her frustration. She was on the other side of the crib, but her voice still seemed like it was right in his ear.

"What? Liv, what are you talking about?"

"You're a pretty good actor."

"So are you! What is this?"

The crib door opened and a road cop poked his face. She stormed at the door and slammed it shut, locked it, then returned to the other side of the room.

"You saw the looks on our colleagues' faces, our boss' face! You can't tell me you didn't notice how good we were at that 'interrogation'?"

He tried to stay calm. She was freaking him out, and he was starting to feel defensive. He got angry when someone shoved his back against a wall. "We've always been good at working together."

"Not like this."

He rolled his eyes. "Tell me what is really bothering you."

No, she couldn't possibly. And then she heard Bernie's words in her head: _…this time it's about reaching out, not letting go. He's right there._ Damn. God, she hoped this woman was right. If not, she was royally screwed.

"Fine." She paused and gathered herself. "I…I was so close to you. You shook, Elliot, I could…feel you. And I thought I was going explode." She looked down at her feet, avoiding his eyes, suddenly embarrassed but also still angry. "Am I crazy, or do you also feel something? Something that may have been here before, but has surfaced since I was in the hospital? Do you see that same thing when you look in my eyes?" She looked back up at him. "This doesn't feel like just chemistry anymore, Elliot. I…do you feel it too?" She didn't mean to shout it…it just came out that way.

He stared at her silently. Honestly, this was the last thing he expected to hear, and it shocked him. She got that look on her face – the angry, disbelieving smile – but it was at herself.

Olivia turned her back to him and gripped one of the bunk beds for support. How could she have been so stupid? Here she thought there was the potential for something more between them than partners and friends. Part of her knew it wouldn't work, but most of her yearned to be closer to him. Bernie was right…she loved Elliot. But at the same, reaching out had failed, and it felt like she had been stabbed in the heart. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths. She couldn't bear to look at him right now and needed to get out of the room – it was too close.

She gathered herself and spun around, but he was inches from her. She hadn't heard him cross the room. The close proximity of his body, his heat…she thought she would really explode this time. She had no idea what she was expecting, but it wasn't this. He rendered her incapable of breathing. As she looked up into his eyes she lost her ability to support her own weight and fell back towards the bunk bed, but he caught her. His touch burned. He pulled her upright, and then his lips were on hers.

The world stopped. She was frozen. The kiss was passionate, but gentle. She staggered, but he supported her. She reached up, fumbling for his shirt collar. Once she had a firm grip, she pushed him away from her. It felt like she was being ripped in half so she didn't let go of his collar, keeping him within arms reach.

"I…" She'd lost her capability of speaking. His presence, his touch, completely overwhelmed everything. She tried again.

"I…can't be your rebound," she managed to say, her voice raspy and strained.

Elliot studied his partner carefully. It wasn't meant to hurt him. She just didn't want either of them to get hurt in the future. He cleared his throat, regaining control over his own functions.

He gripped both her shoulders and looked directly into her eyes. "Listen, Liv. In a twisted sort of way, Kathy was my rebound from Kathy. The way I see it…the last 12 years of my life have been leading up to this moment – right now, you and me. There's no way I'm letting you go now. We'll…figure out how this will work somehow."

She didn't reply – she couldn't – and she didn't need to. Her hands reaffirmed their grip on his shirt, and she pulled him back to her. He met her response with enthusiasm, but for someone so strong, he was incredibly gentle.

Her lips were the sweetest thing he had ever tasted. He reached around her and slowly unzipped her dress and it crumpled at her feet. She undid the buttons on his shirt one by one. All this felt strange and untrue, yet he'd never felt better in his life. He lowered her onto the bed.

And then he stopped. He looked down at her beautiful form. He'd seen his partner in nothing but her bra and underwear before, but not like this. The last thing he wanted was for her to leave his arms now, but…

"El?"

"We can't do this. Not right now. We're in the crib…at work."

He untangled himself from her, picked up her discarded dress and handed it to her. Respectfully he turned his back, even though he really wanted to look at her.

"You son of bitch. After everything...the Stuckey brothers and all the other shit...You can't do this to me, Elliot."

He spun back to her, alarmed. "God, Liv, I'm not turning away from you. I just…don't want to rush this. I don't even know what _this _is yet."

She realized her mistake, and she also knew he was right. But she looked painfully at the dress in her hands, in denial at what just happened.

"Did I imagine this?"

He smiled and she instantly felt the heat reignite in her body. "It does feel that way. However, the fact that you're sitting there in your underwear, with smudged make-up and ruffled hair, suggests otherwise." He paused. "So…what are you doing tonight?"

"Getting a ride to my apartment from you."

He nodded, as if this was the obvious answer. "I would…get changed if I were you. We're good?"

"We're good."

* * *

John watched as Elliot walked into the squad room. He was flushed and he was wearing a different shirt than he was half an hour ago. John tossed his eraser in Fin's direction to get his attention, and gestured towards their co-worker. Fin rolled his eyes and shook his head. He was well aware of John's suspicions about Elliot and Olivia. 5 minutes later, Olivia walked in. She had changed out of her dress and brushed her hair, but her makeup had been wiped off and she looked flustered but _happy_. Even Fin couldn't ignore it this time.


End file.
